Tuesday, 7 October 2008


As well as breezing thru vanquished albatross daily, spaffing at the larynx everyday too, you, like "me time", gaze at the dashboard longingly. This is not your home-fried menagerie bap coated in hammers, nor your time to shine. Nova prospect, your fridge is hooked up and touching its purpose, yet all the same you bark on, lounge under punches all roughed up. What the fuck happened to you?! >> Shit we didn't get up to this week includes:

  • This thing about Sonic cumming/shitting/vomiting in our mouths.

  • This thing about smuggling cocaine in a giant squid.

  • This thing in which "much placenta, much abdicated play" froths around the living room, you buy a mouthwash but everyone laughs at you anyway.
  • This thing, in which we wonder if our American frat boys would be so kind as to confirm whether such behaviour is encouraged overseas (?- really).

  • This thing we saw on Youtube.

  • And this thing, in which a camera tripod looks a bit like a face, because you can't not use pictures like this when they come along:



PICO said...

Oh I get it, there I am casually and underhandedly plagiarising Commander Zorg and you have to go and do this. The whole hog, huh? The complete 9 yards? I think you should consider the consequences of your actions, dope.

A) What if Zorg sues? It's my balls on the line here.

B) If this is an attempt to get Zorg to like us, and potentially link us so our readership expands from 6 people to possibly 9 people, I think it might be misjudged. We might look like sycophants.

In terms of conceptual luminosity, this is I think about on a par with the plan to clean Banksys off walls. I mean, bravo.

What I really want to know, though, is why during such a dry spell you spunked 6 or so excellent sources on ONE POST? Can we really afford this? We should be thinning ourselves out (see my last 9 posts or so), not boiling down to critical hypermud. It's all well and good exalting quality over quantity but the enemy must be terrified by our SHEER PRODUCTIVE CAPACITIES. Who cares if the kettles don't work, so long as we have 3 billion units. Who cares if the milkshake is loaded with melamime, so long as it flows like the ganges. VOLUME is the way forward.

Needless to say, the only way you can atone for this deviationism is to post at least ten times in the coming week. HOP TO IT.

dope on the table said...

A) I think the last thing Zorg would want hanging around the UK:R towers is a lawyer. That would be like Sonic calling the Green Hill Zone skyline blue.

B) As for getting Zorg to like us, as much as I would like him to shit in my mouth and rape me, this post was intended only for you, Pico, and now I am going to close it.


PICO said...

Woahwoahwoah DON'T close it. I think it's great. And besides the Zorg bit, it links important infos, important for everyone. DON'T CLOSE IT, PLEASE. I ws kdding.

Green Hill Zone's Skyline IS blue...I think that's probably your point, but I still don't know what it means. I will ponder this over my breakfast, and the bit about fleas.

PICO said...

Oh. Kafka. I'm a fucking dunce.

I still don't get the Sonic bit.


JBS HALDANE! Callinicus and Obvo...

(re the head severing video)